The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught: Afterwards - January 1, 2003

The Last Exit was interesting this week, we had Tim 'The Radio Guy', not to
be confused with Jeff 'The Radio Guy', up for the week.  And he was rockin'.
We also had a very kickass GorGar's corner.  It was a different kind of
show.  No Arthur, don't know where he was, and with the way he's been acting
lately, anything is possible.  And Zoltan, well, Zoltan is still MIA.  Last
we heard from him was before Thanksgiving, so over a month and not a peep.
I'd say maybe he's dead, but he already died back almost a year ago building
that ark, and Satan kicked him out of hell for being too annoying and anal.
So, if anyone has had a Zoltan sighting, let us know...  I am including an
attached picture of Zoltan as drawn by Shoebox a while ago.  It didn't scan
as well as I hoped, but I think it's worth sending.  It a picture of
Shoebox's proof that Zoltan was in Journey.

And the oddly impossible happened on The Metallic Onslaught.  Jeffie got a
groupie.  We don't know how, but within minutes she turned on him and
decided that she wanted to be, as unlikely as it seems, a Lance groupie.  At
some point Jeffie got beaten.  That's a given.  He also brought some guy he
met on the street whose name, I think, was Phil McKracken.  Or something
like that.  Jeffie called him Duff.  It was a strange night...

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The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught: Afterwards - January 8, 2003

Ok, so Arthur shows up this week in complete fear of The Teletubbies.  Did I
have anything to do with it?  No.  Wish I did, though.  It was fun to play
on his fears, though.  He decided that maybe they weren't trying to KILL him
after he heard them speaking of sponges and dirty knees...  If you want to
see an opinion of how they are servents of a one world mind control plot -
go here; http://www.crossroad.to/text/articles/teletubbies10-99.html.  It
was a pretty quiet show.  Friend showed up at some point, I think maybe
during GorGar's corner.  We haven't seen him since, I think, we last saw
Zoltan, and whenever we asked him about Zoltan he got noticably upset and
yelled NO FRIEND.  Very strange, but not very telling.  Then he actually
mocked Zoltan.  Very un-Friend-like behaviour.

And, due to the snow, there was no Metallic Onslaught last week.  This week,
will, therefore be their Best Of show, and may even have Shoebox present.
I'm curious to see what Jeffie's picks will be...  Could be scary.

As some of you know, we have randomized polls on the website.  Two of them
are for favorite characters on the shows...

Who are your favorite Metallic Onslaught personalities?

Shoebox (of Worm Quartet) 4   27%
Lance (Glam Lovin' Co-Host) 3   20%
Jeff - The Radio Guy (Special Co-Host) 3   20%
Joe - Binky (The Main Host) 2   13%
Rick - Momo (Co-Host and Beater of Jeff) 2   13%
Kataklysmic Kelly (Jeff's Keeper) 1   7%

Total Votes:  15

So Shoebox leads by one vote as MO's favorite, Lance and Jeff are tied?!  As
are Rick and Joe.  KK, for having a mostly off-air role, still managed one
vote...

Who are your Favorite Characters on The Last Exit?

The Demon Azkath  - 11   27%
Shoebox (of Worm Quartet) - 7   17%
Zoltan the Avenger  - 6   15%
Friend - 5   12%
GorGar (of GorGar's Corner) - 4   10%
Arthur Beezulbottom (Zoltan's Bodyguard) - 3   7%
Zoltan Imposters - 3   7%
Foul Mouth Girl - 2   5%

Total Votes:  41

Some things surprise me here.  One, I'm winning.  By quite a margin and I
don't quite know why.  Second, Shoebox, who has only been on like 4 times,
is 2nd!!  Zoltan, who is still MIA is 3rd.  This doesn't bode well, me
thinks, when 2 of the top three in the poll are rarely there!  Friend is
4th, and that I can understand.  On any normal night, Friend showing up can
be an injection of chaos...  GorGar has apparently built some fans rather
quickly.  Arthur only has 3 votes.  This also surprises me, I would expect
him to get more.  Maybe it's part of his growing insanity?
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The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught: Afterwards - January 15, 2003

We're not gonna recount what happened to Jeffie at the end of the Metallic
Onslaught, nor will we discuss what he tried to do at the very end.  Ug...

Here are the best album of the year pics from the show... (Lance didn't make
it)...
Joe;
Vader
Therion
Nightwish
Hollenthon
Myrkskog

Rick;
Hatebreed
Killswitch Engage
Down
Otep
Mudvayne

Shoebox;
*Can't read one of the bands due to Joe's bad hadwritting!*
Adam and His Package
Annihilator
Jim Stienman
Common Rider

And Jeffie (Why?);
Stella Soleil
Limp Bizkit
The Powerpuff Girls
Otep
Apologetix

Yeah, Jeffie got beaten a lot for that selection.  Oddly, it was the Otep
that sent Rick into a Rage.  I think he felt Otep were too good for Jeffie.
He RAN into the other studio and rammed into Jeffie so hard that he went
airborne and came crashing down in a pile of Jeffie many feet away.  He was
ok, of course, since we made him more durable than the last Jeffie...

Attached is a pic of our 'winner' for this week's Last Exit (and Arthur is
standing on the left).  He's a regular listener and it was his birthday, so
we gave him a box of stuff.  Hopefully we will be doing a big giveaway show
soon...

What is coming up?  Well, we have decided that unless we get evidence
otherwise, Zoltan is dead.  Again.  For those that don't remember, he was
killed just prior to the planned Armageddon last year in some Ark building
accident.  He was later banned from Hell for complaining too much about
trivial things...  I don't know where he is, but from all appearances, or
lack thereof, we have deduced he is dead.  Oh, and there was that strange
appearance by Friend which also leads us to the same conclusion.  SO, in two
weeks, we will be holding a special, Zoltan Memorial Show.  That will be
January 25th.  Weather permitting as I'm working on some special guests.
And I have the Apocalypse Box set to implode on February 15th.  I don't know
what will happen when that occurs, but we will all see together...
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The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught: Afterwards - 1.21.03

Yeah, I know, there was no e-mail before the shows last week.  Sorry.  They
were both good shows I think, The Metallic Onslaught had Lances Top 5 since
he wasn't there for the Best Of show the week before...  His top 5 for 2002
were;

Poison
Def Leppard
Harem Scarem
Fu Manchu
Blood for Blood

Oh, and last week I couldn't read one of Shoebox's pick's and blamed it on
Joe's handwriting, it was actually Shoebox's handwriting, and the pick was
The Mist I believe.

There is an attached picture of Arthur, with, well, you figure out what the
hell he's doing...

On The Last Exit Arthur did his best to bring us proof of Zoltan's status.
Arthur being Arthur, he brought a dream he had as proof.  In the dream,
Zoltan was a naked rabbit who was bad at playing cards.  On this, we have
determined that Zoltan is dead, again, and gone and will proceed with our
Zoltan Memorial Show next week.  I already have confirmation from Shoebox
that he will attend, and Satan has contacted me to say the same.

We have a new poll up to see what YOU think Zoltan's status is.  Please, go
to the webpage, http://listen.to/thelastexit and let us know what you
think...

If you go to Googilism.com you can find out some info on Zoltan that's
rather odd...

Googlism for: zoltan

zoltan is a consummate street entertainer
zoltan is a street
zoltan is accepted in a foresthome but makes enemies
zoltan is designed to be flexible and extensible
zoltan is suddenly rich
zoltan is sued for malpractice
zoltan is a born pommel horse worker
zoltan is a 74 year old tenant
zoltan is a vampire dog
zoltan is my first choice as a bass sub at the players school of music
zoltan is a big philanderer
zoltan is betting
zoltan is trying to verify his idea
zoltan is unleashed on the world once more
zoltan is gracious and eager to show me around
zoltan is a poet as well and has published an entire book entitled "the same
sea"
zoltan is a singer
zoltan is the only designer in the history of the show to win both new
design talent and new designer of the year
zoltan is interested in the distinction between implicit and explicit
knowledge
zoltan is the last name in this book
zoltan is an aerobatic pilot
zoltan is the technical whiz of the band
zoltan is one of the busiest drummers in sweden
zoltan is hungarian by birth and served as a fighter pilot but had to flee
after resisting the soviet invasion
zoltan is an extrememly powerful writer with an imagination that is out of
this world
zoltan is not my name
zoltan is the most terrifying creature to ever walk the earth
zoltan is a young
zoltan is naca pointed
zoltan is doing perineal massage
zoltan is getting ready for catching
zoltan is incredibly reliable because it only uses one moving part
zoltan is just sufficient under both these perspectives
zoltan is a thoroughly nice guy
zoltan is a summa cum laude
zoltan is to allow options which specify
zoltan is studying the dispersal of the sand martin
zoltan is spoken
zoltan is completed
zoltan is not in the chat room it may be down for maintenance
zoltan is working as bouncer
zoltan is "invited" to see arch
zoltan is a modified digital timepiece that displays time and date
zoltan is unbelievably great
zoltan is a linux
zoltan is sent to bite the sleeping man
zoltan is successful but has less than scientific interests at heart
zoltan is looking at me as though an american air strike has hit me in the
head and scrambled my brains
zoltan is scared of poles because they remind him of when the people were
hanged by the germans
zoltan is a very good instructor
zoltan is leaving
zoltan is a famous public leader
zoltan is a relatively young drummer
zoltan is representing the ultimate virtuosity of the hungarian school
zoltan is not a celebrity
zoltan is a halfbreed
zoltan is so complete
zoltan is on holiday
zoltan is from vienna
zoltan is critically injured by a "tame" lion
zoltan is the machine that made the kid/tom hanks in "big"
zoltan is 1996
zoltan is "up close and personal" as he spends time with each student
covering topics such as pigments

Who knew all this about Zoltan!  We will have more odd Zoltan facts in the
Beforehands, and more yet presented during the Memorial Show.  It will be
something NOT to be missed!
